Simple Beauty!(humor)

So there I was sitting in Chicago’s Midway airport, internally fussing because you can’t lock down your seat on Southwest Airlines. No biggie, since I can never check in 24 hours and 1 minute before check-in is available. This is no fault of Southwest Airlines, just my own personal issue of time management and forgetting to set the alarm to book my boarding.

As I mussed about the method of boarding for Southwest Airlines, my simple Neanderthal mind begins to kick in and my favorite airport activity takes subtle hold of my person.

People Watching!

I love to people watch, and being a man I love to look at the females as they pass my particular vantage point in the airport. Women are beautiful. Women make being a man a absolute JOY!
During my people watching as I anticipate boarding these modern time machines called airplanes, it’s been within the last year my airport activity has gotten really interesting, mostly because I comment what I am witnessing on my Facebook timeline. I began picking up on a peculiar fashion faux pas, which transformed into a festival of delight for me and my Facebook friends. It use to be while watching these people dressed to the hilt for travel gave me reason to ask “What the hell were they thinking wearing that”, but the same thing can be said about me. Then at some point something magical happen.

STRETCHY PANTS!

Oh my, I like women, particularly I like the shape of women, and there was a trend in the throught the early 90’s for people to wear biking shorts. This trend faded with MC Hammer, but now it has been reinvented thanks to Yoga, The 5k race and Ugg boots.

Like my father I am an ass and hips man, for those of you who don’t understand that, get the urban dictionary app. With the reintroduction of yoga pants (Stretchy Pants) in the daily fashion lexicon, I sit in the airport as a parade of fit and not so fit butt’s pass me as I eat my veggie sandwich while sipping vitamin water or really expensive coffee and listening to the Joe Rogan Podcast .

For some strange biological reason Men of African American descent have an affinity for the female body part referred to as BOOTY! I am no exception. There is one obvious observation from my 40 +++ years on this earth. Everyone race, creed and color are PACKIN in the booty deparment. It seems like once Jennifer Lopez let America know it was ok to pack some ass, with Kim Kardashian affirmed it, butt cheeks around the world began to flourish.

Here is what I know, when you are stuck in an airport waiting to board an uncomfortable 6 hour flight, a man or person has to appreciate the simple pleasures presented in life. To whom-ever created the stretchy pant. I say Bravo to you sir or madam, you have put a smile in at least one man’s heart.

Live, Laugh, Love, and Have some dam fun,
Emmitt